Physical presence is not the same as fatherhood.

A man can sleep under the same roof as his children every night of their lives and still be completely absent. Still be a stranger they share a last name with. Still be someone they tiptoe around instead of run to.

I have watched it. A father technically in the building. Phone in hand. Eyes somewhere else. Children doing the quiet math that children always do – figuring out whether they are worth the interruption.

They always know. Children are smarter than we give them credit for. They know when they have your attention and they know when they are competing with everything else for a sliver of it.

Being home matters. Being present matters more.

Put the phone down. Look at them when they talk. Ask a question about something they care about even if you do not care about it yet. Show up to the small moments because the small moments are what they remember when they are grown and deciding how they feel about you.

The door is still open. Walk through it all the way.

Stephon Rudd

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