Unscripted thoughts that showed up uninvited and refused to leave. No agenda, no destination — just what crossed my mind and whatever it stirs up in yours.
Letters To Nobody
I want to talk about something that has been happening so gradually and so consistently that most people stopped noticing it years ago. Turn on almost any sitcom from the last twenty years. Find the married couple. Watch how they interact. The husband is confused. Lovably incompetent. Well-meaning but perpetually a step behind. He makes...
Letters To Nobody
Nobody argues in a vacuum. The way a person handles conflict is not random. It was learned. Absorbed. Built up over years from watching how the people around them fought, from the media they consumed, from the models of communication they were exposed to before they had the critical distance to evaluate them. Feed a...
Letters To Nobody
I am a problem solver by nature. When something is broken I want to understand it, name it, and find the path to fixing it. That is just how I am wired. When I enter a difficult conversation I am carrying tools. Questions that get to the root. Observations that name what is actually happening....
Letters To Nobody
Something shifted in me the day I realized that some arguments are not actually arguments. They are scripts. Written before you arrived. With a role already assigned to you that has nothing to do with who you actually are or what you actually said. You walked into a conversation that was already finished. You just...
Letters To Nobody
I want to talk about reality television for a minute. Not as entertainment. As education. Because whether people realize it or not, these shows have been teaching a generation how to handle conflict. And the lesson is devastating. The lesson is this. When you have a problem with someone you do not sit down and...
Letters To Nobody
There is a specific kind of conversation that leaves you feeling like you walked into a room you did not recognize by the time you walked out. You went in trying to explain something. Something honest. Something you chose your words for carefully. You kept your tone soft. You removed the edge from your voice...
Letters To Nobody
I noticed something a long time ago in arguments that took me a while to put into words. Most people in a disagreement are not actually listening. They are waiting. There is a difference. Listening means you are taking in what the other person is saying and letting it land before you respond. Waiting means...